mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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