Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
