How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So apparently I’m into choking now
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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