Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
