you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I hope mine doesn't look like that
you win again, gameday.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
