Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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