Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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