I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
