Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
