It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize