oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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