3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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