Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
