Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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