Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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