So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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