I just made out with a guy for $7.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
