But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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