Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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