I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
