dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
