she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
