omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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