ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Life is so much better after having sex.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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