hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
