ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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