worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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