one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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