Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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