pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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