There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
