You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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