Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
