forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
