Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
