She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
