look no pants
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
