I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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