Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
