I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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