I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
