I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
