What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize