Say something about gay babies.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
