my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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