using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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