Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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