There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
