Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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