I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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