If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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