I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
