I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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