whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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