WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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