trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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