dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
