Kiss
Puke
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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