Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
