dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
