Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
